Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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