Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
