there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
