He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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