I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
