I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
