it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
