I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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