Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
