Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
