Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
