I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
