If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
