Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
