That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
