love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
