I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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