I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
