I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
