My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
