talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
