why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
