Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
