and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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