i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
