Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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