She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
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