So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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