if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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