My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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