Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
