In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
