is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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