Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
