dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
