and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
