I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
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