What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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