it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
