I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
