I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I was not drunk enough for that final.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
