also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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