the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Just invented taco cereal.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
