My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
