Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
