it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
this hospital has no fireball
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
