just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
