You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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