good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
If I die, sorry about rent.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
