stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
