No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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