Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
