sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
