She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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