I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
