i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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