Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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