That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
