discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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