Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
